Thursday, July 01, 2010

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: The Ravages of Time, Hormones and Sugar; the Persistent Doucheyness of Wallet Chains and Thumbs in Pockets

10-Year-Old Tom Colicchio Had More Balls Than Any of the Contestants on This Season of “Top Chef”

So sayeth the colicky Colicchio himself, on his Bravo blog:

“I’m going to try my best not to sound testy. As you’ve also just watched the episode though, I’m sure you won’t fault me if I do…. Watching the episode, I was amazed to hear mutterings of ‘I’m not a pastry chef’ and ‘I’m not a grill chef.’… I was at my family’s swim club one summer day when I was approximately 10 years old, and after a day of swimming I found myself good and hungry. My father had brought along several club steaks, and had heated the grill but not yet cooked the steaks. I couldn’t wait. I popped one on the grill and, when it seemed adequately cooked, I popped it back off and ate a bite…. I came out of my reverie to face an angry family: I’d singlehandedly cooked and eaten all the steaks…. I guess I discovered grilling…. I was 10, and it never occurred to me to shy away from the task because ‘I wasn’t a grill chef.’”

So, possums, bears do meow, and how.

Amanda Baumgarten, Stephen Hopcraft Star in Bravo Anti-Tobacco PSA: This Is What You Look Like When You Smoke

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: After His “Flame Goes Pouf!”, Swish Kabob Wins the Gay, Er, Day

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: Psychic Lesbian Unable to Predict Her Own Demise

Monday, June 28, 2010

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Amuse-Biatch Photoessay: So *That’s* What Happened to Urkel

Possums, before you groan, we say, Come on—cheap and easy (visual) puns are a staple of Top Chef, and never more so than on this season and, perhaps, this episode (“bipartisandwich”?). Besides, what with the dead wife, we gave him a one-episode pass as regards mocking him. This is Episode 2, and the pass has expired. Welcome Grown-Up Urkel.